six nine oh

perfumed temples 
and pain
turn a poetess
into prophet
into oracle
into more than
her dreams and words
anything less than this
or other than love
just wouldn't do

wednesday full of woe

how am i supposed to shout my abortion like some feminist icon when it takes me through that pinprick of courage into the expansive endless unpredictable greyness of grief sucks me under even as i resist until i'm submerged and i am the motions of the whole damned broken world and i am every lost child and every tortured heart and i am equal to the task but puzzled pandora cassandra persephone all woman all the love work all the tears all the pain and i want to come up for air gasping sea siren made beautiful by blood loss and the cold in my bones and the demons held closer than the dear ones and time escapes me squirreling kernels of joy hoarding memories of almost happiness amongst the ruins of this body so reviled how

Hump Day Haiku

You know I'm no good
I am uncertain and strange
Barely hanging on

Hamster Wheel

trip myself up
before anyone else
can get out of the way
all limbs and curves and
forgetting and
remembering and slipping
up again and again and
everything is everything
but it's all too much of
nothing and nothing
helps

Growing Pains

Seams are ripping
Apart making
Room for wonder
And joy
But grief rides
Shotgun over
Open wounds
Disruptive
And soothing
Words only
Go so far
In between contacts

Here For You

let me take
the pain
let it burn
my palm
so you have
a chance to breathe
and when you
are clear
and cool
take my hand
and kiss it better

Parallel

look closer
i am not afraid
life has made 
me ready for this
expansion
i am water
i am water
i am low tide reprieve
i am high tide courage
immersion

look deeper
i am not naive
love has moved
me beyond fruitless
habits
you are earth
you are earth
you are summer passion
you are autumn patience
counterpart

look nearer
i am not alone
pain has made
me older than
manipulations
we are air
we are air
we are dawn dreaming
we are dusk birdsong
synchronicity 

LRM

Only when I stop
And stand back
And look at all I've done
Do I feel your hand
On my shoulder, proud
Only when I see
Feathers in the grass
Like breadcrumbs to
Lead me home
Does your laugh
Ring through me
Digging into my ribs
And so this grieving
Body will honour you
With tea and roses
Until it's time
To come up and
Meet you

Tea (haiku)

Drinking tea for two
Secrets and endless kisses
All cares fall away

HOTdamn

One glance 
One touch
One gift
One tongue
To tell me
I'm in for a
Slow
Ride 
To
Elation
Two hands
Two paths
Two hearts
Two pure
Desires show us
We're in for a
New
Kind
Of
Euphoria

Maskless

How sweet it is
To be unlocked
By a key that
Nudges the tumblers
Gently and
With permission
How it thrills me
To stand still
And be maskless
At last

Inheritance

Sesame seeds
Between the qwerty
Keys
A seat too tall for me
Footprints drummed 
Into the carpet
Carry encouragement
A clean desk
Full of words
That speak sympatico
Gentle friendship

Lorne Avenue

Across from the tennis courts
A carpark of ashtrays and
Conversations
Rent with deadlines
Here, we do the work
Here, we carve through
Tangles of memory
Searching for impact
To satisfy the impulses
Borne of dreaming

Imposter Syndrome

The temptation pulls
Relentless
Tugging me into that old
Familiar craving
To be made duller
By your brilliance
Smaller in your presence
Mute, blank, insignificant
Treading water
Until I get the better
Of myself and drown 

(but you won't let me)

Joyful

The absence of panic
The rhythm section 
Connection
The spectre of your arms
Across my sternum
The here and there
Truths bared
The calm and happy
Threads of happiness
Woven into us

LoverHaiku

Only one more day
Before we fall on passion's sword
Sensuality

Your eyes speak hunger
And my soul replies comfort
Twin fish, dancing hearts

I want to kiss you
Under bridges of summer
Rainfall, tenderly

Thesis Abecedarian

Adipose
Bluestocking
Cavalier
Dolorific
Esculent
Fluxional
Galluptious
Harridan
Impavid
Jinxed
Killjoy
Lachrymose
Mellisonant
Nulliparous
Oppidan
Punk
Queer
Rash
Subnascent
Thelemite
Unsexed
Victrix
Witch
Xanthippe
Yearning
Zingara

DreamCatcher

Cold pack/Hard slap/Hot wax/Wet scratch

Kissed so much and so long that we've

Swapped tongues, seen stars move beyond

Comprehension and our affection makes

An artform out of sensation and a craft

Constructed from a revelation that 

The old way of meeting, mind first,

Might not be so bad after all

So we'll fall, catching dreams on the way

SkinMusic

I've got the taste of you in between my teeth
I need a place to meet you in my dreams
I told my neurosis to go to sleep
For a good long while, and your smile
That can't be photographed
Loosens my joints into melodies
That fit perfectly inside your palm
I'm calm, and we are mirrors
Not combatants, for a change
 

Tea and Harmony

Being heard is 
The ultimate erotica
Being seen as
More than the sum of my parts
More than the glass in my heart
The cage of my past
Lifts in the light
Of this tower of understanding
Flesh dreams made real
Soul returned to body with added
Colour, like my silver strands
Catching the rainbow in the first few
Moments of Sunday

On Satiation (a haiku)

I may have mentioned
That I liked it rough and he
Delivered, I'm spent

Intricate/Filthy

Sweet like serenading and sunrise storytelling
And spooking the crows away from you
Hot like teeth and tongues clashing
And choking 'til I tapped out, tied up
Wholesome like cold water and an omelette
And a sunscreened walk to the city
Filthy like no sleep and too much coffee
And chainsmoking and nudity on the balcony
Intricate like all of our past lives repeating
And tumbling into each other on a hot night
Elemental like sweat and blood and gas
And your hand on my goosebumps
Happy like sleeping and smiling and waiting 
Patiently to be next to you

Love Me Tender

The first man who wrote a song for me

Died of a broken heart

So don’t you start

Don’t you dare call your Mama

Telling her I’m sweet

Telling her you feel complete

Don’t you dare be tender

The first man who dared to fall for me

Tripped over his own fear

So don’t get ideas

Don’t you dare touch me softly

Make it transcendental

I can’t stand the sentimental

Don’t you dare be tender

The last man who stole a kiss from me

Wooed me with blades

So don’t be afraid

Don’t you dare make this cute

Tie me up and mute me

Make me your bloody beauty

Don’t you dare be tender