Banned

My copy of Howl
Has an inscription from 
A disappointing lover
Happy Housewarming!
Love, P.
Three kisses
And three kicks to
My belly when
I said goodbye

how am i??

i'm fine
i wanna skin my palms
and make an offering
to the gods of madness
and beg them to stop
sending their suggestions
of self annihilation
through my weary shoulders
i'm fine

recipe for disaster

fat renders 
me invisible
fat renders
me unlovable
fat renders
me unfuckable
but not
unrapeable
not
unusable
not
unhurtable
fat renders
me inhuman
fat renders
me intolerable
fat renders
me indestructible 
tenacious
audacious enough
to refuse the rendering
and remain solid

the things he's said

i don't usually go for big girls, but there's something about you
my ex had a perfect body, like a supermodel
this is our little secret, girl
relax
if you're this hot now, just imagine if you were thinner
your wrists aren't that big, so that's a good start
you look like your skin's too tight, girl
relax
it's not as if i don't like you, i just can't have anything serious
you're not like other girls, so we can just have fun
i'll call you a cab, girl
relax

Jump

They always ask whether
You've got so far as
To make plans
Or whether it's just the thought
And they always ask whether
It's your voice urging
You to do it
Or whether it's an intruder
As if your mind
Isn't fortified strongly
Enough to keep the
Demons out

Witchy-woo

Threefold learning
Virgin/whore/crone
Unholy trinity
Thrice damned
And eternally
Denied

Youth

Ain't too strange 
To wish for courage
To wipe away the 
Old desires in a bottle
Of gin and a long night
Away from here
Ain't too strange
To wish for silence
Under the tattoo needle
Bleed out the poison
Of a misspent youth
Pissed away on blues
And bad company