Furious

Rage sustains
This incorrect
Woman/beast/ghost
Caught between
Smiling and cutting
With razor tongue
With blade fingers
With whip teeth
Rage makes room
For incorrect
Love/lust/longing
Caught between
Friendship and fetish
With mother ears
With father hands
With sister feet
Rage sustains

Human

Are cruel men
The price I pay
For being ugly?

Last Night

The only thing
I'll beg you for
Is your pardon
I am not accustomed
To being treated
As if I might
Not be as ugly
As I know I am
So forgive me

Blisters

Once a pebble
In their shoe
Begging for just
A blister
Just a bit
Of attention
Made smaller
With each step
Kept under heels
Stuck between toes
Hidden and forgotten
Now rock solid
Fully formed
Unapologetically
Alone until
Until
Until
I am held
In regard
Respect
Instead of in
Contempt
 

Nobody's Tune

Maybe nobody 
Will exhume
These bleached bones
Reconstruct these limbs
With tendons made
Of melodies
Maybe nobody
Will bless
This desert heart
Resurrect a pulse
With rhythms made
Of kindness

SapphoClique

Gold star
Dykecycle loyalty card
Just collect nine stamps
And your tenth fuck is free
But if you've ever
Kissed a boy
You're not allowed 
In the club
You can watch from
The sidelines
But you'll never be 
One of us

Exegesis

Make a prayer
Out of my ribs
Make an offering 
Of my spine
To the benevolence
Of silence

Flames

Tongue starved of kisses
Feasting on loneliness
Fire eating
Feet bleeding
Ripe for sunshine

Inked In

Storytelling skin
Lovelorn secret scars
Hidden in plain sight
Tattooed code

September Haiku #3

Double negative
A meeting of sadnesses
Reading each other

Sacred/Profane

You found me
Where the sacred
Meets the profane
Peeled me back
To the bone
And expected me
To stay
Put a blade
To my throat
And made me
Take the blame
For all the lies
You believed
For all the treasures
That you thieved
And now you
Rake my name
Through the dirt
But you're blinkered
So full of shame
And you think that
I'm the one 
Who broke us
But it was you
Who choked us
So take your
Insecurities
And your gossip
Take your
Immaturity
And your toxic
Tongue right back
To before I knew you
I see right through you
You were a playboy
I was a decoy
You found me
Where the sacred
Meets the profane
Peeled me back
To the bone
And expected me
To stay

Danger/Dacryphilia

Mind so sharp
She cuts my eyes
And I leak
A sacrifice for her
Teeth so clever
She cracks my skull
And I bleed
A ballad for her

Dolly

Your mouth says
You want a lover
But your eyes 
They betray you
You want a doll
A marionette
Pre-tenderised
Gaping
Bendable and fit
For eating

September Haiku #2

Bravery and rain
Shadows the change in season
Bare branches catch sun

Mending

Mending myself
Stitches over scars
Over and over
The forgiving skin
The forgotten sins
Remembered 
And regretted

Twelve

We were twelve
We were twelve
We were preconditioned
To live with heaviness
Once is enough
We will not repeat
This unraveling
We were twelve
We were twelve

September Haiku #1

Hazel eyed hunters
Held together by cobwebs
Arteries of faith

Blood/Dreams

Grace dreams of me
Lion hearted
Hunter of spirit
Holding the mic
Held by the crowd
Passing the passion
Grace dreams of me

August Haiku #5

Fingerprinted hope
Left chafing upon my soul
Like so many loves

Faith

It's nothing
To lie awake for
To lose hours of sleep a night over
It's nothing
Just that their hands are too scared
Their eyes are too small
Their mouths are too sheltered
To comprehend you
Keep yourself sacred
Until you meet the brave
The big hearted
The open mouthed and hungry
It's nothing
To wait until you are met
With the worthy

Unzip

I am scarcely contained
Waiting for
Somebody to crack
The code of my silence
And zip me open

August Haiku #4

Hold me down harder
Touch my skin like it's silver
Paint my spirit gold

Yearning

Shouldn't it feel like dancing?
Not like a test
Of endurance
Stamina
Not like an audition
Shouldn't it feel like music?
Pulsing harmonies
Layered
Like sunshowers
Midsummer
Shouldn't it feel like swing time?

Spent

My offerings
Drip down these walls
Suffocating
So little blood
Left to let
So little love
Left to sacrifice
I am dessicated
And you shine
 

Skinless

This ugliness
Pulls down on me
Until 
All I want 
Is to peel away
My skin
And spill like 
So much meat upon
The earth
I may be used as
Food for thought
After all

August Haiku #3

Too outside the lines
Solitary conclusion
Free range romantic

August Haiku #2

Mirror images
Of our souls in each other
Not enough for you

Remembrance

Grief looks like this:
Cold collarbones
Broken nails
Skin parched
Dry
Grief looks like  - 
Clouded eyes
Paper thin smile
And a heart
Ripped in half
Even after
All these careful years
Grief looks like
This

Shhh

I feel so cold
And cut in half
And quiet 
In the middle 
Of your caterwauling

August Haiku #1

Morning hail falls
Isolation my jailer
Same old solitude

Crying for Micheal

Grief in its infancy
Feeding on saltwater
Two hourly
Keeping me sleepless
And wet cheeked

CON/form

Walking around
With my unfuckableness
Sitting down
With my undesirableness
Talking aloud
With my unwantableness
Spitting on
Your uncomfortableness
Singing along 
With my bigfatugliness

July Haiku #7

Crosshatch cutting calm
Flesh rent into components
Serene catharsis

Blood Moon

Devil came for me
I stripped him for parts
Made pain into art

July Haiku #6

Family you choose
Hold your edges together
Keep your heart beating

Complicated

An inconvenience
Too complicated
When my flesh
Demands more
When my brain
Requires more
When my heart
Sings for more
Than you have to give
You want 
Rubberised holes
And the illusion
Of power, but
I don't play that way
I'm far more
Complicated

July Haiku #5

Rent paid with my blood
A thousand times over and
I want a receipt

Craft

Spirit on the whetstone
Honing an arrow of
Hope to carry me
Through the winter

Nightingale

This voice is mine
Not yours
Not yours
Not your own
Private oracle
Mute to all
Others
This voice is mine
Not yours
Not yours
Not your own
Personal jukebox
Silent to all
Others

Skinned

Emptiness
Presses on the heart
Summons salt
From sweet days
Cuts deeper
Even than steel

Spectralgirl

It's a comfort
Loathing myself
More than they do
Digging diamonds
Out of this
Cursed being
This shunned 
Spirit

July Haiku #4

I am a wasteland
Lovelorn and lost and hiding
Strata of stories

Hurt Me

Put me to bed
On shards of
Glass and hope
Bathe me 
In blood and dreams
Leave me out
For the vultures

Repeat/Regret

I should have
Bled out
In front of you
Flayed each inch
Of my hated
Flesh
At your feet
Ripped apart
Your muse
Into paper thin
Slices

July Haiku #3

Disobedience
Body outside of the lines
Colour me in pride

S.O.S.

Eavesdropping
I put an ear
Under the shame
Listening for 
My own heartsong
Listening for
My own codeword
Unlocking the way
Out of anguish

Jukly Haiku #2

Soul safekeeping
A weary heart in limbo
Secret silken dreams

Loudwoman

If you need
To diminish me
Demean me
Despirit me
Then I'm not
The woman 
You're wanting
I'm the woman
Whose voluptuousness
Doesn't stop
At the breasts
I'm the woman
Whose volume
Is a testament
To struggle
I'm the woman
Whose presence
Is larger 
Than fear
So if you need
Meekness
Mildness
Measured by obedience
Then I'm not
The woman
You're wanting

Doctor, Doctor

Sensuality clinician
Dissecting each
And every urge
Passing through
These eager teeth

Papi

Consume my fear
And lead my voice
To scale octaves
Of liberation

July Haiku #1

Is she magnetic
Beneath that exterior
Masking her magic

Seamstresses

Melancholy
Doesn't discriminate
All these
Pretty people
Stuffing their
Pockets full of
Pain until
There's no more
Room for hope
And they
Split open
At the seams
Leaving us behind
Ugly and guilty
Seamstresses of 
Regret

June Haiku #13

How many more souls
Will this winter claim for keeps?
Needless surrender

Absent Friends

Sorrow
Is a clutching
Grasping
Pulling
Desperation and
All we can do
Is wait 
Until it slows
Down to
A gentle
Tugging
At the edges

June Haiku #12

Breaking text like ground
Succumbing to winter rain
Verdant stories rise

Furiously Loved

Sure life could be
Easier 
Smoother
If we let them win
If we remain shackled
To the biddable
Ways they sell
Beige like hell
Or life could be
Harder 
Brighter
All colour no filter
Somewhat out of kilter
With the norm
Breaking the form
Of what is prescribed
Don't be shy

June Haiku #11

Talk amongst yourselves
While we tend to our own wounds
Step up or leave us

Nil

Are you keeping score?
Because we are
We're counting every
Life lost and every
Child hurt and every
Woman silenced and every
Difference beaten down
In the quest to keep
Men feeling like 
Men because men
Have to be winning
Or else they don't 
Feel like men
And if they don't
Feel like men
Then what's left?

June Haiku #10

Help me remember
Use your mouth along my spine
Paint me with desire

Wrong Way Go Back

You blinded me
With pain
So don't be
Surprised
That I can't 
Find my way
Back to you

All/Nothing

Only know how
To sing
As if I'll
Never be heard again
Only know how
To kiss
As if I'll
Never be loved again
Only know how
To cry
As if I'll
Never find joy again
I don't know 
Any other way

June Haiku #9

Midwinter craving
Forgetting with someone new 
Skin under my teeth

Yield

You should
Know by now 
That I don't
Surrender
Not without
Persuasion
Not without
The touch 
Of your tongue
Like glitter
Upon me
Making me 
Glow under
Your hands
Like arpeggios
Played way down
Bass clef
Deeply spiced
Mellow
Like your voice
Nudging my 
Temples
Hot with 
Anticipation
You should 
Know by now
That I don't
Surrender
Not without
Permission
To yield

June Haiku #8

Play my tone circles
Syncopate a connection
Bodies bound by breath

The Man

I don't want
You to be
The Man
I just want 
You
Your edges
And your quirks
Let the Man
Fall away
So we can see
You in there

Typeset

Do you have a type?
Nah, not really
But if they're
Lanky
Loud laughing
With slinky hips
And licorice lips
I might
Just
Take a second look

Unloved

Sick baby
Twisted little
Brain on her
Like Medusa
When she's
Unloved
But
When she's 
Warm she'll
Melt hearts
Not hands

June Haiku #7

Strictly flesh language
No time for conversation
Come and break me off

Mind Made Up

The next one
Won't be paying for
Your mistakes
The next one
Will be gold
And you're dirt

Lost Me

All cried out
Nothing in the tank
You're all lies now
Nothing in the bank
Left me in the dirt
Crying for your heart
Now you say you're hurt
You can't stand to be apart
Guess you should have 
Treated me better
Now I'll be someone 
Else's treasure 
You lost me

Stupid Girl

How many better
Lovers walked
By while I
Was stuck on you
And how many
Times did
I walk out
Behind you
Crying

June Haiku #6

Take it all away
The excuses and the songs
And your lazy heart

Both/Neither

I can't be both
Your beautiful
Wonder
And your ugly
Tomboy
And you can't have
Either
Not now
Not ever
Never again

June Haiku #5

Solitude hurts less
Than running back to false joy
I'm never enough

Holes

You can't cut
Out my heart
Replace it with
Flint and
Expect there
To be room left
For your apology

Deaf

Wooing me
With another man's
Words and you 
Wonder why
I'm not listening

 

Pain/Lover

Scar calligrapher
Resurrect me
Let me pay you back
In kind
In blood
In something
Nobody can
Take from you

June Haiku #4

Sell me something else
Your old promises are tired
Time you got going

Outlaw

You're scrambling
Trying to pick
The lock
Of my heart
But I switched
The combination

Thirst

Freshwater
Quench me
Glide under
The abrasions
And drown
Me in my
Craving

June Haiku #3

Seduce me with a 
Melody I've never heard
Before you voiced it

Siren

Body relegated
To Rubens
Admired once
Well before my time
And nowadays glossed over
But a voice
A voice
A voice like silk
Saturated in scarlet
A siren
A secret weapon
Sliding between your
Skin and bones
Breaking bloodlines
 

Leap

Go ahead and count
On your fingers
Count out loud
All the ways
That I fall short
Of the mark
That I fall outside
Of the traps
That I fall away
From the world
Go ahead and count
On your fingers
Count out loud
All the ways 
That you are repulsed
By me 
All the ways
That you have swallowed
The scam 
All the ways 
That we are afriad
Of one another
We are only
One brave step 
Away from bliss
Go ahead and count
Down
We jump on
Three

4/4

He played common time
Crotchets evenly 
Spaced, beige
And so my
Syncopated sixteenths
Spectral hieroglyphs
Just didn't fit
In with his
Plan so 
I reeled in my 
Funk chorus
To a cadence
And 
Flew
Right back to the
Other side of
The rainbow

June Haiku #2

I expect you to
Worship beyond the standard
Notion of beauty

Processing

Automaton woman
Rewiring my circuitry
To avoid sparks
On contact
Ejecting memory banks
Of his touch
Coding myself 
Away from the old

June Haiku #1

Salt into the wound
As if I had forgotten
Being named ugly

Want Me

As thirsty as I am
I will never 
Sip on you again
Not after you left
Me high and dry
Not after you went
And filled in the
Gaps made by me
With another

And I wonder
If she feels lonely
Around you
I wonder
If you let her cry
On her own
Running your words
Around and around and
Around until
She's stuck in sadness

And I wonder
Why you want me
Back again
And whether you
Truly thought I'd
Fall for the
Same old lies
The overtired
The tried too many
Times 
Excuses masking
Deviant desires

And I wonder
Why you keep on
Calling me calling me
Calling me leaving
Pitiful pleas
For attention
With no mention
Of how you 
Let us fall away
From connection

As hungry as I am
I will never
Take another
Mouthful of you
Not after you
Let me starve
As you hand fed
Another the fruits
Of my heart

Vague

Don't try
To tell me 
You never thought
About vaporising
Molecules spinning
Apart from one another
Until you are just
A vague half remembered
Melody

May Haiku #5

When my voice returns
I will scream an aria
Just to shut you up

Snap

Walled in
By octaves of
Silence
And this muteness
Follows your
Choice
Of perfect cadence
And we were
Always playing
With dissonance
Before the 
Strings snapped

Etched

I could scour
You off of the surface
But you'd remain
Etched into my 
Spine anyway
And that's the price
Of devotion

May Haiku #4

Academic fog
Printing allowance top up
Peer reviewed sadness

Stay

Twenty two years
And the same
Old questions come
Knocking knocking
Knocking
At the windows
Of this hurt
Were you cold, and
Did you cry, and
If he'd stopped,
If he'd stopped,
If he'd stopped,
Would you have stayed?

Searching

It shouldn't be this hard
To find a smile
In a crowd 
It shouldn't be this hard
To find a friend
Among the fakers
It shouldn't be this hard
To find a lover
Behind shyness
But it is, and yet
We keep on looking
Led by loneliness
Into hopefulness

Regrets

I wish I didn't miss
You and the way
You looked at me
But I paid far
Far too much
For your attention
And there's no
Refunds on love
So now I'm out
Of pocket
Out of patience
And I can 0nly
Afford to spend
Time on myself

May Haiku #3

Make me feel better
Dance rips into my stockings
Out at a dive bar

May Haiku #2

Restless in the rain
Torturing time until something
Brighter comes along

Funny That

It’s funny how 
The boys who tower over me 
On the city streets 
Are the same boys 
Who cower beneath me 
On freshly laundered sheets