OtherTongue

the grief for who i could have been 
is so deep that it doesn't even speak
to me in my first language
but my third
es tut mir leid es tut mir leid es tut mir leid
shame buried behind memory
ich habe vergessen ich habe vergessen ich habe vergessen
how to conjugate pain as a verb
zeig nie wer du bist zeig nie wer du bist zeig nie wer du bist
in this other tongue
this grandmother's tongue
spelled out in recipes 
never in conversation
ich bin fast gestorben ich bin fast gestorben ich bin fast gestorben
not for my verbs but for my pronouns
gefaehrliche frau gefaehrliche frau gefaehrliche frau
so much so they felt compelled to
rasiere meine schamhaare rasiere meine schamhaare rasiere meine schamhaare
and plant an embryo in its place
an intruder's souvenir