Midnight

Sneaky intoxication
Called love
Lingers on my limbs
Like eau de cologne
Heady scents
Of serendipitous joy
And silent smiles
Stay with me
Stubborn as I am
Restless as you are
And let us be delighted
Dancing through midnight's
Stardust showers

Cowboy

Lonely and far from home
I stumbled into a dive bar
And under his spell
He had that strut
Complete with cowboy boots
And sandalwood cologne
Clumsily dancing to Dave Graney
We made no conversation
Only promises
With winestained kisses
And brave fingers
Dawn gifted us with bloodshot eyes
And silence
But for the traffic
Lonely and far from home
I stumbled into a cab
And under the overpass

Reflection

More than the sum of her parts
A reflection of legacies
Endowed with secrets
Matriarchal and encrypted

She stands bereft of memories
Awaiting sorrow's debt collector
An annual fee
Payable by blood, tears, or myths

Electric Lady

My dearest boy asked me
What's it like then?
Living with this thing
This thing you call synaesthesia
I reluctantly relented
And I told him
Where he hears augmented fifths
I see pastels in neon
Where he sees lightning flashes
I taste cloves in melon
When he takes acid
I chuckle
Suddenly aware that
People part with their paycheques
For the chance to experience
My existence
I trip for free
And I never come down
From this freakout
So you can ask me
What colour's my voice?
You can ask me
What flavour's my shirt?
Just don't ask me
To explain yet again
That no, I can't control it
And no, I can't switch it off
This is a full time gig
Living in the kaleidescopic spice market of synaesthesia

Love Letter

I am too long without your affections, and given to weeping. I find no pleasure in dining, nor drinking, nor smoking. I want only your honeyed voice and calloused hands to sustain me. I am yours and will not waver. I count the days until we meet again, and sleep evades me. Comfort is lounging at your feet. I long for Sunday, my darling, when I will be once again in your embrace.

Hemingway

Trapped by wanderlust
Freed by words
Beard burning
White upon tanned
Skin scarred 
Ever searching 
For your lost nurse
Your pure first love
Now we feed 
Upon glances of
Your memories
Caught fading
In dusty mirrors

Plea

In sleep I beseech my kin
Guide me
You are my compass
Aboard this craft
Hold me
You are my comfort
Within this trial
Lead me
Onto sweeter plains
Heavy with hope
In sleep I find my succour
I exhume my nerve
I recover patience
And rise again
Dauntless, to sail on

Benevolence

Little bird trapped in tar
Sinks slowly
Wings buckling
Little lungs full of songs
Torn apart
Heart failing
Will benevolence reach her now?
Light burns her dying eyes
Too late, too late
Comes the cry
Little voice left to wait
Tune fading
Mind crumbling
Little bird caged in death
Feathers falling
Colours pitching
Will benevolence resurrect her?
Little bird deserts the sky
Too late, too late
Comes the cry

Destruction

Awake long before the first hint of dawn, she dreams loudly and brightly, drowning messy thoughts in a witch's brew of memory, hope, and words. Always words, spilling eagerly from her like so many lost laughs, fleeting glimpses of joy peeking awkwardly through the mist of pain. Always pain, pulsing recklessly through her, craving her destruction. Awake long after the last whisper of dusk, she scribes silently and swiftly, quelling urges for oblivion with each stanza, unruffled. She endures.

Melancholia

Melancholia, with its poison pen
Ambushes my idle mind
Pulling me into focus
On my faults, many and extreme

Melancholia, with its dead weight
Crushes my enervated body
Pushing me into retreat
From my form, monstrous and alien

Melancholia, with its wrenching howl
Floods my keen ears
Pressing me into silence
My own voice, grating and repugnant

Release

Unravelled by you
I am weightless
Soaring beyond sickness
You dazzle me
Not with your disheveled beauty
Not with false charm or empty promises
But with your warmth
And small kindnesses
And your caresses
Your molasses and pepper of a voice
That undoes me with two words

Untangled by you
I am tranquil
Flying beyond fear
You astonish me
Not with your devastating eyes
Not with flimsy charisma or grand gestures
But with your clemency
And sudden kisses 
And your passions
Your nectar and spice of a smile
That floors me with one glance

Uncaged by you
I am dauntless
Gliding beyond guilt
You enthrall me
Not with your rugged allure
Not with flashy toys or phony machismo
But with your tenderness
And morning chuckles
And your whispers
Your silk and steel of a hand
That captures me with no resistance

Lipstick

A suitcase from another time
My grandmother's youth
Still scented with her
Essence of jasmine
Burgundy lipstick
And almond oil
Now holds the essence of me
Red lipstick
Lapis lazuli
And leather
It is the keeper of secrets
And the key to my heart

Running

I do not run away. I run straight through. Through the tears and the memories and the triggers and the flashbacks and the night terrors and the endless pain. I run with my head held high and my eyes wide open. I run alone with music coursing through every cell of my being, and I never, ever look back.

Spring

Charcoal trunks
Adorned with green
Leaves revived
By sunlight and
Songs of rainfall

Birds rejoice
On the wing
Free at last
Singing softly
To skies renewed

September Wish

A vista grand with starlight
Peeks through the curtains
Calling to us, the creatures nocturnal
Now is the casting time
Fear and regret consumed by flame
Hope and love live again
Under midnight's velvet veil
Breathe once more, mighty vagabonds

Submission

At your side
A weapon of woman
Collared and leashed
Laughs quietly

At your feet
At leopard of a lady
Pale and naked
Waits gracefully

At your service
A gift of a girl
Bound and gagged
Moans impatiently

At your command
A doll of a dame
Corseted and calm
Cries willfully

Spark

Let my scars
Be your roadmap
Toward serenity
Let my horrors
Be your unlocking
Of crypts overflowing
Let my madness
Be your answer
To impossible riddles
Let my gloom
Be your spark
Of life illuminated
Let my pain
Be your pleasure
In all ways
Let my loss
Be your belonging
To a rare tribe

Vacancy

Flame formed in ice
Burning blue
Inkwell depleted
You are gone
Treading clouds
Leaving coins
And feathers
To serve as milestones

A melody made
From silence
Empty of resonance
You are gone
Swimming deserts
Leaving whispers
And shadows
To be our compasses

Dusk

Four daughters
Three sons
Seventeen first generation
Down underlanders
Pay your passage
To that golden shore
The ferryman whistles
He is eerie, featureless
Yet you are serene
Returning to heathered
Heaths far beyond
Our ken, with coins
Upon papery lids
Hiding those eyes
Bluer than dusk
Deeper than dawn

Still Here

The clan is keening
The kin are kneeling
And I am spinning
As all their prayers
Cut through me
And all your words
Speak through me

You are cold
So cold
You long for the blessed
Moment of commitment
Just to be warm again
To be next to your first love

You are weary
So weary
You long for the precious
Peace of eternity
Just to be calm again
To be with the lost ones

The clan is crying
The kin are pining
And I am sinking
As all their tears
Cut through me
And all your dreams
Speak through me

You are here
Still here
Although only we fey ones hear you
You are ours
Always ours

Grandfather

Sleepless I speak at length
With your restless phantoms
Now standing over me
I am receiving all your pain
Every toothache, every boot in the ribs
Now piling on top of my own
I am a whopping great weight
Sinking rapidly into oblivion
If only I could curl myself up
Until I disappear and join you
And my lost children
Three sparkling jewels in your palm
Wafting about the ether
But instead I endure
Reminding myself to breathe
And live justly, for your sake

Patriarch

One red
One gold
Both pale
Milky skin
Bloodlines blue
Underneath the ink
Paths colliding
Were you shamed by me?
Or were you bashful?
I never could tell
All I know is that
You bled Pict
Just like me
And you loved words
Just like me
And you sang with fervour
Just like me
Albeit to praise different gods
I know it hurt you
To look at me and see
The heretics of your past
The heathens left behind
But you loved me anyway
In your twisted manner
Your hands upon my shoulders
Eyes boring into mine
I will never worship your gods
You know I can't
I am of the old kin
The ones you pretended to forget
You saw it in my darkness
My wildness and wicked ways
I know it hurt you
But you loved me anyway
And now you sing to me
This time in dreams
Instead of in a church

Radio Silence

You left without warning
Leaving me cold in the sun
With a stubborn chin
And a love of words
These gifts are yours
I merely carry the legacy
Our love was stronger
Even than our disapproval
Of one another's passions
And your madness remains
In each of us, nudging
Dreams and visions forth
I have lost my voice and
My heart is shattered
All is silent and dull

Weaving

I inhabit a departure lounge
For vagabond souls
Steering them toward
Doors unopened
They may return
To feast or fast
To make an offering
Of verse or visions
Profound and peaceful
The may wick away
At puzzles or play
At palindromes
Borrow or rob
From one another's
Dream vaults
They may laugh
To themselves or unseen
Abstract concepts
Lost in the wind's weft
Weaving new worlds
As they wave
Farewell

Skin

From rake thin runt
To sumo wrestler
Overnight
Thank you puberty
For the perspective
For the pendulous
Breasts so heavy
And for the big
Beautiful belly
From sickly and skinny
To hefty and healthy
In a few short months
Thank you
Country air
For the strength
For the fearsome
Shoulders so broad
And for the sculpted
Strong legs
That carry me
And my victories
My story is my skin
My skin is my salvation
My salvation is my body
My body is my nirvana

Imaginings

The days feel sharp
But your skin is soft
Under my nails
And your quiet murmured
Pleasure a perfect foil
To pressure so dreadfully
Deafening to my delicate
Ears made centres of
Sweet sensation under
Your caresses
How I yearn for your smile
At week's end
How I long for your eyes
To drown in
How fortunate I am
To find myself enfolded
In your fond imaginings

Footlights

A chorus of marionettes
Conducted by cursed icons
Faces flushed by footlights
Feet numb now the act
Is closing, counting bars
Barely breathing now the
Wings speak to them
Sighing in approval
But the curtain never falls
Enchanted they remain
Upon the ancient rostrum
Repeating recitations
Even as the flesh falls
From their forms
Even as their bones break
Brittle and dusty
Crumbling
The puppets perform
Perpetually
Pitch perfect

Thief

Strange creature
You are set on
Cheapening me
To enrich yourself
Which shows off
Your stinginess
Rather than your worth
Which is dubious
Held together
By the flimsiest
Ideologies
Stolen not earned

August

Springtime teases us
Leaving a trail of clues
A hint of blossom here
A touch of a sunbeam there
But she has yet to show her
Glowing face so radiant
And brimful of hope
We must employ patience
A little longer yet
And we shall be gifted
With a transformation
Remarkable for its fertile blooms
And bowing branches
Blessed with bonbons

Hangnails

I'm all hangnails
And hairy legs
Poor memory
And melancholia
Classed as a clown
Yet I am fierce
Not just funny
I am strong
And sensitive beneath
Observant despite
The awkward obtuseness
Which colours my
Interactions interminably
A rare bird indeed
Cage-less
Clairvoyant and careful
Not to be too clever

Gateway

I'm the gateway girl
A rest stop between
Epiphanies
And preferred poisons
Immovable
Distracted by dreams
Of Basquait
Of Ginsberg
All the time being drawn
Upon to feed fevers
In addicts too blind
To see my beauty
If it exists at all
On this plane
Of this I am uncertain
But I know for sure that
I'm no-one's
Drug of choice
I'm no-one's oasis
I am merely the gateway girl