how
am i supposed to shout my abortion
like some feminist icon when it takes me through
that pinprick of courage into the expansive endless
unpredictable greyness of grief, sucks me under
even as i resist until i'm submerged
and i am the motions of the whole damned broken world
and i am every lost child and every tortured heart and
i am equal to the task but puzzled
pandora cassandra persephone all woman
all the love work all the tears all the pain and
i want to come up for air gasping sea siren
made beautiful by blood loss and the cold in my bones
and the demons held closer than the dear ones
and time escapes me squirreling kernels of joy
hoarding memories of almost happiness
amongst the ruins of this body so reviled
how
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