Tantrum

I'm fed up with bleeding
With being too sore to walk
I'm sick of surgery walls
That insipid shade of pistachio
I want to feel well
To get up and dance
I want to go out
To get dolled up
Smoky eyeliner
Red lipstick
High heeled boots
Tight black jeans
Low cut top
Sultry perfume
I want to be carefree
To laugh until I cry
To share private jokes with my mates
I want to stay out late
To smoke clove cigarettes
To drink tequila
To sing so much I lose my voice
I want to flirt with strangers
And be bold again
If I met me now I wouldn't recognise myself
So very very sore and sad and sorry
I want to recover quickly
I want to be the best version of me
I'm fed up with all this blood
All this pain
Being a misery for everyone around me
I want to get well
And I want to go home